December Sunshine Part 12

“Stop blaming her for our failure!” Guntoro suddenly appeared behind them. “She has nothing to do with what happened, leave her out of it.”
“She has nothing to do? Can you really say that so easily?” Dini insisted.
“What are you guys talking about?” Endang was beginning to get confused.
“Don’t mind her, apparently she hasn’t changed a bit.” Guntoro said. “Bu Lik, why don’t you go inside, I have to talk to Dini for a while.”

December Sunshine Part 11

Endang felt her blood rush to her head, causing her to become dizzy with anger, she opened her eyes as wide as she could, she pointed at Guntoro and yelled, “You! How could you do this to me? How could you be so mean and inconsiderate? I can’t believe this! How many times do I have to tell you to take off your shoes at the front door when you return from community night-watchman duty? Look at my floor! It’s all dirty! Do you know how hard it is for me to maintain the house clean all day?”

December Sunshine Part 10

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“Are you only eating that?” Guntoro asked with disbelief looking at Endang’s plate at the breakfast buffet table.
“Well, the waiters and waitresses are standing around the table with a frowning face, I kind of feel embarrassed.” Endang asked.
He smiled. “Why don’t you sit at the table first, and I’ll bring you the food. Go on!”

December Sunshine Part 9

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="602"] Candi Prambanan[/caption]

 

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Endang could feel her blood rush to her head, this was an overwhelming new experience for her. She had never been this close to a man before let alone pressing lips like this.
She was shocked when his tongue pried open her lips and began exploring her mouth. She had a moment of hesitation whether to push him away or allow him to continue. Her heart told her to choose the latter. His strong hands gently pulled her closer towards him, pressing her body against his. Endang’s senses began to drift away, caught in the current of his passion.

December Sunshine Part 8

Here drink this water it would help calm you down.” Guntoro said while handing her a glass of water.
Endang couldn’t stop herself from sobbing, but she only had herself to blame, if only she had been honest to Widodo, if only she had maintained physical distance from Guntoro, if only………
Guntoro squatted in front of her, putting her hand into his, “If he loved you that much, he should have come and confronted me. Don’t you think? If a man really loves a woman, he would do anything necessary to get rid of the competition, and not give up and run away like that. Instead of winning you over, he let you go.”
“I don’t know, maybe I should have told him from the start about us. And also I should have been more considerate and careful, I mean today is Sunday, the day that he comes and visit me. With the front door open and the two of us…..” She stopped and looked at him, “Why was the front door opened?”

December Sunshine Part 7

“Are you alright?” Guntoro asked in alarm as he heaved himself up. “Are you hurt anywhere?”
He reached out to help her get up seeing her grimacing in pain he asked again, “Where did you hit yourself?”
“On my ‘none of your business’.” She answered hoarsly while rubbing her buttock then limped down the stairs.
“Oh well, from that response, I can guess you’re just fine.” Guntoro said. “That’s what you get for being an overbearing control freak.”
“Oh, do be quiet.” She sassed. Now arriving at the first floor, she headed directly to the couch and sat down a little bit to the side so she can continue rubbing her behind.
“nDang, are you alright?” Widodo asked gently, “Do you need anything? Maybe we need to put some ointment on your injury.”
“You are not going to put anything on her ‘none of YOUR business’! Do you understand?” Guntoro articulated.

December Sunshine Part 6

[caption id="attachment_484" align="aligncenter" width="364"] Perkedel (Mashed Potato Patties) [/caption]

Endang carefully put down the garnish as the final touches on the serving tray of the dish she just finished cooking. She gently picked up the tray and put it into the oven. She had recently learnt this trick, keeping the plate inside the oven will keep the dish warm a little bit longer.
Guntoro entered the kitchen in his singlet and sweat pants with a small towel wrapped around his neck. “That smells so good!” He announced.
“Of course it does!” Endang replied without looking at him.
She slapped his hand when she saw that he was about to pick up a piece of fried mashed potato patty from one of her serving tray. “Keep your hands off my food!” She warned him.
“Don’t be so stingy.” He complained.

December Sunshine Part 5

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="485"] City of Batu town square[/caption]

“Mas Wid, how are you?” Endang ran up to her boyfriend and greeted him.
As usual Widodo came to find her to her faculty building to spend sometime in the afternoon together. “nDang, do you want to go and grab something to drink?” he asked.
“Unfortunately I can’t, I have to move out of my dorm room today, I’m going to live with a relative of mine.”
“I didn’t know you had relatives here in Malang. Are you moving far from campus?” He hesitated waiting for her to continue.
“No, my relative, nephew actually, lives just a few blocks away from here. I don’t know if you heard the latest new yet, but the truth is Pak Guntoro my Statistic lecturer is my nephew.”

December Sunshine Part 4

[caption id="attachment_463" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Nasi Tumpeng[/caption]

“Does it hurt?” He asked her.
“What? I don’t understand what you’re asking.” She replied.
“I want to know if you are aching, or bruised.”
“What in the world are you talking about? Are you drunk? Did you take the wrong medicine this morning?” She asked harshly.
“I want to know, when you fell off your high horse. Did it hurt you?” He asked again, “You were always so happy rubbing it in my face that you are my elder, my aunt, and now that you were forced to become my wife, everybody in the family is obligating you  to call me “Mas”, Ha…ha…ha…oh, karma has a subtle way to slap people in the face….” He chuckled.

December Sunshine Part 3

[caption id="attachment_454" align="aligncenter" width="372"] City of Jember[/caption]

It took her several minutes to finally snap back to reality. When she came to, her father was lying on top of a pandanus leaf mat with his head on her mother’s lap. His eyes were tightly closed and his breath was short. As she leapt forward and ran towards him, her eyes were filled with tears.

“Bapak, Bapak!” She screamed, “What’s wrong?”
“We need to bring him to my car, quickly we have to take him to the hospital.” Guntoro shouted, getting ready to stand up and run to his car to bring it closer.
Pak Bakrie’s eyes opened slightly, he reached out and grabbed Guntoro’s arm. “Guntoro, my grandson.” He whispered, “I don’t have much time left in this world, you have to promise me something”

Remembering Endang

It's too late for me to find you
As barriers of life close my way
I want to call out to say I love you
I miss your smile  as bright as day
This is for you the one who loves me
Happy Birthday my December Sunshine 

December Sunshine Part 2

[caption id="attachment_439" align="aligncenter" width="444"] City of Malang[/caption]

Endang leaned her head against the car window, looking out to Guntoro who was talking to the administration staff in the park way, she couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but by Guntoro’s hand movement, she suspected she was part of the conversation subject. She saw Guntoro and man shaking hands then he walked back to the car and sat at the driver’s side.

“I had to explain to him why I was hugging you by the shoulder back there, he was rebuking me for inappropriate behavior towards a student.” Guntoro volunteered an explanation.
“What did you tell him?”
“The truth, that you’re my aunt, and that the person who called just now was your sister who happens to also be my mother.”

December Sunshine Part 1

Endang dabbed a shy layer of pink lipstick on her lips. She observed herself and fixed her hair a little bit more. The reflection of her in the full body mirror was to her satisfaction. She pulled out her shirt a little bit from her trousers to cover her waist line. Riski her roommate was lying around lazily in her bed listening to the trendy music on the radio. The DJ’s deep soothing voice made her sigh dreamily.
“I love men with deep voice.” Riski exclaimed.
“I know that by now, you keep repeating it over and over again during Pak[1] Guntoro’s classes.”
“Isn’t his voice so beautiful? So masculine and fatherly. Beside he’s so handsome. I wonder how a man who looks and sounds like him could work as a lecturer in our Campus. He should be an actor or model.”

BAMQ Chapter 15 Notice

Hi Guys,

This week you will have to bear with me a bit for the translation. You see, for somebody like me whose Chinese vocabulary is limited to “Wo Ai Ni” translating Chinese novels chapters at a time can be frustrating. There are a lot of gray matter and imagination involved, and sometimes it just gets overwhelming. To give you an example I have to turn this:

That cold cold of blamed tone, makes Ji Qing full grievance rushed up, is around find not to vent export, abruptly hold has back, she not knows the how with seal Jincheng explained these, too trivial, say, even she explained has, doubted seal Jincheng will think she in sophistry, and children sick is facts, facts before, she said what are extra, only this unit grievance hard hold has back, can orbital is couldn't help began some Misty, that share moisture, fundamental cannot control.

Into this:

Hearing him blaming her, Ji Qing filled up with grievance, she looked around to find a way not to vent her anger, trying hard to hold herself back. She didn’t know how to start explaining the situation to Jin Cheng. And even if she tried, she doubted that Jin Cheng will believe her. The fact is the child is lying there sick. She felt a misty haze building in her eyes, she was losing her self-control.

As you see I do not literally translate, I paraphrase the paragraph, so you would need to excuse the deviation from the original author’s writing style, but I do my utmost to keep the content intact. Just think of me as a script writer adapting your favorite book into a drama :P.

Why am I writing this? Because the translation of Chapter 15 on the engines is somewhat screwed, so I have to pick deeply into my “right side of the brain” to make sense of it.

Okay, back to my Word Document now, wish me luck................

Cavity Inducing: Fah Jarod Sai - Where the sky meets the sands

I usually watch lakorn for one thing, and one thing only, the cultural similarity with my very missed Bali Island, and also to oggle and drool at any scene with green papaya salad or green mango salad, or any Thai cuisine for that matter (make it 2 things). Well, I'm not going to dwell on that topic though.

Another habit of mine, is to stay clear about any Middle Eastern topics, be it politics, socioeconomic, and above all fiction. Let's say that Harlequin has left me traumatized with titles like "The Sheik's bla bla bla...." or "Bla bla bla with the Sheik" or the likes. But again, I am not going to dwell on that topic.

Fah Jarod Sai is a lakorn adapted from a novel by Sopak Suwan (โสภาค สุวรรณ), who by the way at the time when she wrote the book had never been to the middle east, but based the cultural or religious contents from letters that she received from her mother. So please, we will not dwell on this topic.

Through all the Production imperfections, casting cringes, make up bloopers, and the story line inconsistency obviously because of editing and censorship , Fah Jarod Sai is a very, very very sweet love story.

Lets get to know our OTP. The heroine is Michelle a French-Asian mix, although it was never specified what Country in Asia, but according to the author, there needs to be a Thai touch so that the Thai readers do not feel alienated. And our hero Colonel Sharif  M.D.  (Medical Doctor), cousin to the king, also his Royal Guard, military strategist, and physician. So Sharif is dashing handsome and gallant, and Michelle is noble, sincere, and beautiful. Sharif is a tough dessert man and Michelle is noble, sincere, and beautiful. Sharif can fight of insurgents, battle with a sword, and practice medicine, and Michelle is noble, sincere, and beautiful.

So the lakorn goes that Michell De La Roni (Heaven knows if that's a French surname at all) being an orphan living in a convent in France, had a friend who is the daughter of a Middle Eastern billionaire, Kashfiya. Now I can understand the girl, after living all her life in a very closed and protected environment, she was sent to study in France where it's not so closed and protected, naturally she slipped. She started dating a Parisian call Robert and was madly in love with him, until her brother caught them together, so he decided to send her back to their country. With a promise of opening a school, she took Michelle with her. Well Michelle had nothing to lose, as her family straight up told her that they do not want anything to do with her because she is not a "Pure Breed". Now Michelle had dreams of a mysterious dessert man every night, when she told her bestie about it, Kashfiya started to get jealous thinking that Michelle had a crush on Robert.

So once they arrived at the fictive Kingdom Of Hinfara things didn't turn out as expected for Michelle, the culture shock of gender separation, a best friend gone loca, and her best friend's boy friend trying to hit on her. So Kashfiya out of spite an jealousy arranged for Michelle to go in her stead when she heard that she was to enter the King's harem. There Michelle met Sharif. On the night that Michelle was supposed to officially enter the harem, Prince Omar, the King's brother raised a coup d 'etat killing the King and his men. Sharif and Michelle escaped to the vast dessert where their adventure took place, where Michelle was disguised as Tafa the servant boy for Doctor Sharif, and where Sharif was constantly trying to score it with her and Michelle constantly pushing him away mainly because of her own prejudice and insecurities (A near death experience gave him the actual chance, BTW). But the drama depicts how love grows in unexpected situations.

The story is very light and shallow, contains no moral lessons what so ever, pure entertainment wrapped in an outstanding desert scenery.

Any who, not wanting to spoil the story for you. This is a very good drama, great costume,  Tui Teerapat Satjakul was sizzling hot, Kwan Usamanee Vaithayanon beautiful, also a long list of gorgeous supporting actresses exceptionally great sound track, not your cliche lakorn, no rape, no cat fight, just beautiful. If your not the type to feel sensitive about the religious issues surrounding the production, this is for you.

If you are in need of fluff and sweetness like I was these pass weeks, I highly recommend it.

On a side note, I did get my hands on what I think is the novel version, obviously I'm translating it for the fun of it to have in my archives, I don't know if I will be uploading it to the blog, although if I get many hits on this post I probably will share it either through email or posting. For my Thai friends out there I am welcoming any volunteers for Content Consistency Control.

Here is the link to the translation, please only proceed if you are comfortable with the theme

http://afaasun.blogspot.com/p/where-s.html

Also please visit http://www.womenforwoman.org and see how you can contribute to a great cause, even through creating awareness through you friendship circle or social network.

If you appreciate the stories and our work here, please visit the page below and show your support for women survivors of war to rebuild their lives.

http://www.womenforwoman.org

Condolences: To the families of the victims of Flight MH17

My heart goes to the families of the 280 passengers and 15 crew members of Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur. I pray that you will be blessed with courage and strength to go through this difficult situation.

War and struggle for territory is a trait of the animal kingdom of which includes Homo sapiens as a member. But why do we use our "wisdom" that should distinguish us to a higher level from all the other species in the animal kingdom to do massive harm, is beyond me.............

Evida's Questions................

So on both of the stories we're following we've reached enough chapters each to know our respective heroine. We have Feng Ning, who goes around kicking Long San's head just to take some steam off and then we have Ji Qing, who is such an introvert that she barely can speak up to Feng Jin Cheng, even to tell him about his daughter. I would like to know your opinion about these woman, what do you think about them and why? Also, I would like to role play as each respective heroine's BFF, what would be your advise to them?

Manga and JDorama adaptation: Ooku

This historical manga is presented in a chronicle style where the beginning starts off with events that lead to the reign of the 8^th Shogun Yoshimune, then takes a flashback to the reason behind why feudal japan is reigned by female Shoguns, which is written by the scribe Murase in Chronicle of the Dying Day.

JDorama which is first arch of the manga first part of Chronicle of the Dying Day, synopsis:

Set in a fictional Edo period Japan, where a mysterious epidemic, in the story it was called Scarlett Small Pox, that infect men under 25 years has spread wide across Japan, rendering an unbalance population ratio of 1:4 between men and women. This gave rise to a matriarch system where the Shogunate is govern by a women.  The Jdrama adapts the first arc of the manga in 10 episodes. Starting off with the 3^rd Tokugawa Shogun Iemitsu dying of the epidemic.

I don’t know exactly why and how come, but apparently he did not leave any heir even with a vast harem that was shown in the drama, except a daughter born out of wedlock (I think he pounced a woman on the street). Anyway, the unscrupulous, cold, calculating, yet bad ass wet nurse (Head of the Seraglio) Kasuga no Tsubone (played by actress Aso Yumi) decided that for the good of the country, the death of the Shogun will not be announced, they would put a proxy (her son) to disguise as the shogun, a kidnapped the princess and also killing her mother and wet nurse in the process, because of course to leave no witnesses, and placing her as the Shogun (with no title, but adapting her father’s as the Third Shogun Iemitsu), but she is there not really to rule, but as an oven to bake the next in line.

So what happened to her father’s Seraglio? Well again Kasuga no Tsubone decided not to leave any witnesses (Off with their heads!).

So the new Shogun (played by actress Tabe Mikako) is dressed up as a male, and for her, they created a seraglio filled with only young beautiful samurais, to be the candidates to sire the heir, and of course as it is a reversed harem, no females allowed. So a few years later the obvious things happen when you have a bunch of males cooped up in one place for years with no hope of female proximity. The teenage Shogun who was dressed a boy, was attacked a violated by one of the guards, making her bitter towards men and leaving her pregnant. She killed the assailant though. In the story her daughter born of this violation died, traumatizing her a little further.

So having a cold female Shogun  who hates men, Kasuga no Tsubone finally dropped her view on our hero, a Nobleman turned Monk, Arikoto (played by actor Sakai Masato). True and faithful to her treacherous ways, she made sure that he will leave the cloth and enter back to secular life. Arikoto was brought to the seraglio to father an heir, the Shogun and he, after going through trials finally fell in love, only to find out that he is infertile, thus cannot make her pregnant. At the end she bore 3 princesses with three other concubines. And he became the new Head of the Seraglio replacing Kasuga no Tsubone who died of old age. And the shogun ruled as the first Female Shogun, officially adapting her father’s name.

As a footnote: In my opinion as in the manga Arikoto was supposed to be as beautiful as a woman, why oh why did they cast actor Sakai Masato for this part in the dorama when Japan has a bunch of beautiful men as actors. Honestly,Sakai Masato does not give out an image of a maiden faced man, but maybe if they were going for the "Bitchy Old Hag" look, in that case they nailed it just fine.

Comments on the manga:

The manga itself has more stories to tell, consisting of 8 volumes and 35 chapters. The scanlation of the manga had annoyingly weird old English wanabe conversations. If you’re interested to read it you can find it here.

Because of the gender roles theme explored in this manga, it is highly recognized, nominated and rewarded:

• Nominated for Manga Taisho in 2008


• Nominated 3 times  for Tezuka Osamu Cultural Prize, before winning the grand prize in 2009


• Excellence Prize in the 2006 Japan Media Arts Festival


• Won a special prize in The Japanese Association of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy's fifth annual Sense of Gender Awards in 2005


• Listed by YALSA (Young Adult Library Services Association) as in 2010 as one of Top Ten Great Graphic Novels for Teens


• In 2009 won a James Tiptree Jr. Award again on gender exploration and understanding.


• In 2011 one the Shogakukan Manga Award for girls category

Wow!

Gender role is a highly discussed and in my point very vague subject. Unlike other feminism issue that are widely studied i.e. Women’s health, birth control and infant health, violence against women, etc. Gender role is not as black and white. A lot of gender issues that was touched in this manga is a bit on the obscure side, obscure meaning it is subject to reader’s tradition and views of sexuality.

At the end of the day there is a lot of moral issue to be reflected in the manga, I appreciate the author for bringing up the subject to be an object of food for thought, about what would happen if a lot of things we see in today’s society was reversed, and packing it into a graphic novel.

I also find it interesting how the author brings up the issue on capricious of the wealthy and powerful. In a time of shortage of men, the female shogun hoards the healthy men in her seraglio with the excuse that it is to produce an heir to the throne, even though a woman has a limited pregnancy capacity, and having so many husbands does not increase the amount of children she can bare.

Here are some other issues that were in the manga and short facts:

• Polyandry: Polyandry is a form of polygamy where a woman takes one or more husbands. Pretty much like in the original Indian version of Mahabharat, where Drupadi is wedded to the 5 Pandhavas. Polyandry is traditionally practiced in small communities found in Tibet, China and India. And yes mostly Polyandry are among siblings just like in the story, as this is a practice developed sustain inheritance within the family so each generation will inherit the full pie and not pieces of it.  There are cases of Polyandry in other communities in Africa, Oceania and South America as well. One thing is sure though, the fundamental of Polyandry in a traditional community most of the time it is beyond the subject of sexuality although there are implications to it. Polyandry is a method developed for conservation, be it wealth or progeny, and also it is one form of ensuring the continuity of humanity in times of difficulty or famine.


• Male Prostitution: In the manga, men are rented out as studs to make women pregnant. Remember that this is supposed to be in the Edo era, so a woman cannot just walk into a sperm bank to get her supply of Y chromosome to induce meiosis.


• Same Gender Rape: In the Ooku as it is forbidden for any other woman besides the Shogun and her wet nurse, the men who live there are generally frustrated, so they will seek even by force relief from other men. Kind of reminds us of the prisoner stories in state penitentiaries we hear about.

Beloved Fictional Character: Godzilla

This year we’ll enjoy a new Godzilla Film. Unlike the 1998 film where Godzilla was a mutant iguana, here Godzilla is depicted as an ancient creature and he isn't playing the part as the “bad guy”, but more as the defender of nature. So basically he is awoken to fight  the other monsters, to restore the natural balance of nature before going back to his deep slumber in the depth of the ocean.

Going back to the history of Godzilla, away from it’s current celebrity fame, and away from all the merchandise and commercial value. Godzilla holds a deeper and tragic memory that shouldn't be forgotten by mankind, and in my opinion shouldn't be dimmed by the lime-lights of cinema, to prevent it from happening again (sadly it did, again and again!). What I am talking about here is Nuclear disaster.

Created in 1954, Godzilla is a metaphor for nuclear disaster, conceived at the time where the WWII bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945 were still fresh in the memory of Japan, and also the Lucky Dragon 5 incident (A Japanese Tuna fishing boat that was exposed to a nuclear fallout from a US owned thermonuclear device in 1954).

With a concept that Godzilla is a monster that is a product of nuclear radiation, here are a few concepts of Godzilla and how it fits in to the metaphor:

• Godzilla the destroyer: is a portrayal of the mass destruction that can be caused if nuclear power is used in a weapon, just like in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, a nuclear monster can wipe out cities in one blow, and the normal human armed forces can barely hold up against it, leaving behind piles and piles of casualties of war.
• Godzilla the defender: a metaphor to the nuclear energy power plants that have been created since the nuclear fusion was discovered. Although it is for a good cause to bring electricity to the population, a nuclear reactor can cause catastrophic disasters for one reason or another like what happened  in Chernobyl and Fukushima. Just like when Godzilla is battling other giant monsters being the defender of nature, but due to his size and powers, he is still an impending danger to humanity.

Well Homo sapiens are continuously striving to live up to their name as a species (Homo sapiens means “wise man”), we are becoming more conscious of how our actions can affect the planet. We are seeing more governments invest in solar power and also wind power as means to provide energy, instead of fossil fuel, hydrocarbons or nuclear fusion. I hope humankind can move forward on purging the constant abuse it has done to  Mother Earth for the last few centuries in the name of progress.

Evida’s Reflection

Well, I am sure as internet worthy adults and fellow book lovers, we all have the capacity to distinguish fact from fiction.

This subject of  dominance, mistreatment, aggressiveness,  jealousy, possessiveness, etc. Is a common subject or theme, in romantic fiction, be it in written or television. It's okay, at the end of the day, we do not want to lead a bitter and boring life without entertainment, because we view that some actions or behaviors are unacceptable. Let's face it, these thing construct drama and story, and that's what we need, problems and angst in a novel or drama, and not in our own life. Reading and watching it happen in fantasy land and not in real life. That actually allows us to reflect on "what not to do" "how not to live", and also on what's "Right" and what's "Wrong".

There are a lot of subject that is quite blurry in the standard of being right or being wrong, depending on our background, education, and the norms we grew up with. But there is one thing that is at least in my point of view, a universal standard:

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IS WRONG!

Reading the last two chapters, we are shown the possessiveness and control that Jin Cheng exerts over Ji Qing. Whilst it may seem romantic reading about it, believe me, living through it is a different story all together. Any woman who chooses to be married has the right to having her own idea, has the right to work if she wants to and follow her career path, as much as having the right to be a stay at home mom, if she desires to and find that this is her calling. But without being obligated and forced to by others.

Granted, in the novel thus far, we see that a lot of problems in this marriage was caused due to misunderstanding and miscommunication. But that is something that I find naturally occurring when a woman is afraid to convey her thoughts, because of fear that usually is an effect of psychological oppression. This includes: indifference, intolerance, abandonment, and isolation.

I don’t condone the act of dragging, pushing, yelling, and hitting objects to show anger. This is also a form of violence, as it inflicts fear and intimidation to the other party.

I think positively about our heroine when she decided to sign the divorce paper and leave, and the end of the day change is in our own hands, and we can make change, and sometimes in an “abusive” relationship, standing up and walking away is the best course of action. Although in the story there is a redemption path due to this, but again, this type of situation is romantic in fiction but not in real life. Ladies, please be aware.

Anyway, I do not want to spoil the fun in reading this e-novel, again this is an enjoyable work of fiction, I just wanted to bring the issue of violence against women to people’s attention, to help raise awareness.

For those of you who are going through a situation of domestic violence, please do not suffer in silence, you are not alone, there are many who are willing to extend a helping hand.

Also please remember:

• Marital oppression is NOT OKAY, tolerance to a spouse's annoying habits and being oppressed are two different things.


• An abusive husband will not change by himself, some level of intervention is needed, do not be afraid to seek help.


• Leaving is not always the right answer, you may be living in circumstances that prevent this, for any types of reason or causes, I understand completely. But when it is necessary, do not hesitate to do so. Sometimes your life and that of your children depend on it.

Anyway, if anybody in this reading this feels that they need somebody to talk to someone, who will not judge, and will not pressure you to take action, but will be sympathetic and understanding, feel free to use the contact me page.

One thing you need to know: I am a survivor of domestic violence, it wasn't easy for me to live through it, and it wasn't easy for me to escape it, but I did. And you can too!